


Unloved Kids

by Leio_Rossi



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst and Feels, Falling In Love, Fanboy Phil Coulson, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Phil Coulson, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Domestic Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Phil Needs a Hug, Protective Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2018-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-15 21:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3461885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leio_Rossi/pseuds/Leio_Rossi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Phil Coulson gets caught in the middle of an explosion in Bruce Banner's lab and he turns into a little kid.  Nick Fury puts him under Steve Roger's care and the hero learns a side to Coulson that he never knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1975

**Author's Note:**

> So what I've decided to do, because I'm me, is that I'll just write a chapter for every story that I have an idea written down and whichever gets the most subscribers gets theirs finished first and then when I'm finished with that story, I'll move on to the next story with the most subscribers. (P.S. I probably won't stick to this plan, but I've been itching to get these stories out)  
> Title was from I Am Not A Robot by Marina and the Diamonds.

Nothing had been going well all day and Bruce Banner was just about ready to give up. Last night he had an idea that led to pulling an all nighter, testing out different ideas. The mainframe that he was working on was that perhaps the Hulk was his inner child full of rage and maybe he could treat him with medication given to neurotic children in therapy.

  
  


Right now, his eyelids seemed to be made of sandpaper and weighed a ton, but he had to test this last idea before hitting the sack. This was the reason that when he was carefully putting drops into the test tube, he didn't hear the door open from the lab and thus jerked when Phil Coulson's voice was right next to him.

  
  


“You're working awfully early.”

  
  


Bruce's eyes widened in terror as he inadvertently squeezed the pipet, dropping all the solution and the test tube practically exploded. He barely managed to lift his arms to cover his eyes as he was thrown back by the force of it. The scientist heard a cut off yell from the agent as he also went down next to him before feeling the floor hit his head hard and blacking out.

  
  


  
  


There was somebody shaking his shoulder and Phil didn't want to wake up. Especially after yesterday, he just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. He distantly heard a man's voice, but it sounded nothing like his dad's. This made him wince. It was probably one of mom's lovers that she brought over, but he suddenly realized he wasn't in his bed. No no no no. This couldn't be happening again. His dad had promised him they would never do _that_ again.

  
  


He shot up like an arrow and was fully awake, looking around him. He seemed to be in a hospital room and that could only mean one thing. Somebody had told on mom. He turned to the black man who was looking at him coolly and Phil inwardly cowered at the hard stare although outside he stared stonily back. The guy was wearing an eyepatch and was dressed in all black. He wasn't like the previous CPS people.

  
  


“Phil Coulson, do you know where you are?”

  
  


“Not really. No. How do you know my name? Who are you?” The man's eyes saddened for a moment before he looked away.

  
  


“My name is Nick Fury. Do you know what year it is?”

  
  


“Of course. It's 1975. I didn't hit my head or anything. I just went to bed last night. What am I doing here?” Phil glared at the man who turned his gaze back towards him.

  
  


“You're 11.” It was said softly and for some reason, Phil got angry.

  
  


“Stop with the annoying comments. Where am I and why?”

  
  


“You are in SHIELD headquarters where you work. The year is 2015 and you turned into a child.” Nick told him and Phil scowled. All the adults treated him like this- like he was nothing but a kid.

  
  


“You're lying.” He accused.

  
  


“I'm not. Look around you. Does all this technology really exist in 1975?”

  
  


“I wouldn't know seeing as I've never been to a hospital.”

  
  


Their conversation was interrupted but someone knocking on the door and before he could tell them to come in, it was opened and a man in a red suit walked and Phil wasn't going to lie. He was terrified. This guy looked like the cyborgs in the comics but way more advanced. Behind him were two guys and a woman.

  
  


“Does he remember anything?” The woman asked. She was pretty with red hair except she had guns on her hips.

  
  


“No. He's regressed to his eleven year old self. He thinks he's in 1975.” Fury said.

  
  


“Who are you?” Phil cut in, looking at all of them. They seemed to be out of the comics. The red yellow cyborg, the dark Robin Hood, and a red head spy. The only one who didn't fit in was the scrawny guy with messy dark hair and glasses.

  
  


“He doesn't remember me.” The cyborg looked stricken but he covered it well with a cocky smile and put his hand forward. “My name's Tony Stark, but I'm also Ironman.” Phil hesitantly took his hand and shook it. It was cool to the touch and smooth.

  
  


The red head spy spoke next.

  
  


“I'm Natasha Romanoff also known as Black Widow.”

  
  


“I'm Clint Barton, Hawkeye.” The dark Robin Hood couldn't even look him in the eye.

  
  


Phil turned to the last person who looked remorseful. He would have to ask about that later.

  
  


“My name is Bruce Banner, the Hulk.”

  
  


“Why do all of you have nickna-”

  
  


Phil was cut off by the door slamming open and his eyes widened as he saw who it was. It couldn't be, but in walked the Captain America, the only thing missing was his shield. Phil felt like he couldn't breathe.

  
  


“I'm sorry. I got here as fast as I could.” Captain America looked to the bed where Phil was sitting. “Is that- Is that you, Phil?”

  
  


Phil nodded numbly, wondering how he knew his name.

  
  


“What happened?” He turned to the others and Natasha whispered something in his ear and his eyes turned sadly to Phil. “So you don't remember any of us?”

  
  


“I remember you. You're Captain America, the greatest hero ever. ” Phil rushed out excitedly, and the whole group chuckled, making Phil blush. The hero looked bashful as he looked away from Phil with a smile.

  
  


“My real name is Steve Rogers.” He smiled.

  
  


“So... this is really 2015?” Phil asked quietly. They all nodded. “And you are... superheroes?” Another nod and Phil felt overwhelmed.

  
  


“Well, it seems we have a problem in our hands.” Fury said, turning away from Phil. “Banner, I expect you to find a remedy to this, because I'm not losing one of my best agents again.”

  
  


“I'll work on it too.” Tony said and Bruce nodded.

  
  


“We're going to need someone to take care of him.”

  
  


Natasha and Clint looked at each other then to Fury shaking their heads.

  
  


“We wouldn't mind taking care of Phil, but we have missions for the next three weeks.” Natasha explained, looking apologetically at Phil.

  
  


“Bruce and I won't be able to do it either since we'll be working in the lab, and the last thing we need is for something else to explode on Phil.” Tony reasoned.

  
  


Phil looked down at his hands, knowing the real reason none of them wanted to take care of him. He was just some dumb kid who would slow them down. They were superheroes; they didn't have time to take care of him.   
  
  


“I'll take care of him.” Steve said and everyone turned to him with lifted eyebrows. “I can take two vacation weeks and watch him. I mean... if you want to.” He turned to Phil who nodded his head enthusiastically then stopped.

  
  


“What about saving people?” He asked.

  
  


“There's nothing big going on right now, and if something does happen, I'll go.” The blond smiled.

  
  


“Then that's settled. I'll contact everyone and tell them Coulson and you are going on vacation.” Fury nodded, taking out his cellphone.

  
  


“What if it extends over two weeks?” Clint asked and everyone turned to Fury.

  
  


“We'll cross that bridge when we get there.”

 

With that, everyone began filing out of the room, saying their goodbyes to Phil until he was left alone with Captain America who had sat down in the chair where Fury had first been sitting. Phil looked at him with awed eyes, not knowing what to say.

  
  


“Are you hungry?”

  
  


Phil bit his lip and on cue, his stomach grumbled and he placed his hands over it, nodding. He hadn't eaten since yesterday's breakfast with his dad. A sudden thought filled his head. Was his dad dead? Or worse, was his mother still alive?

  
  


“I know a place where we can go out and eat.” Steve smiled, standing up then noticing Phil's somber expression frowned. “Are you okay?”

  
  


“I was thinking about my parents. ” Phil admitted as his chest seemed to cave in. He was almost 40 years into the future, his parents would be old even if they were still alive. “Do you think... do you think they're still alive?”

  
  


Steve's face revealed nothing but he sat down next to Phil.

  
  


“I don't know. You never really speak about them.”

  
  


Phil nodded and jumped off the bed, pushing away thoughts of his parents for now. He looked down and found himself wearing a big black t-shirt and loose shorts that almost fell had he not caught them.

  
  


“Uh, do you think we could get some clothes for me?”

  
  


Steve laughed and nodded, going towards the door and Phil awkwardly shuffling behind him a hand at the waistband of the shorts.

  
  


“We'll go get some clothes for you then we'll go eat. The others and I went there for shwarma once.” Steve looked down at Phil and chuckled. “You're so short. I'm not used to looking at you all the way down there.”

  
  


“I'm not that short.” Phil grumbled and Steve ruffled his hair laughing.


	2. Police

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Panic Attack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, leave comments of what you want to see cuz I haven't the slightest idea of where I'm going with this. I'm trying. Sorry!

It took them a while to find clothes that fit him enough to go into public without Steve looking like he was kidnapping a child. Phil had remained silent throughout the whole thing, giving him side glances and short answers when Steve had tried to make small talk.

  
  


It had been Pepper who had ended up helping them find a t-shirt and shorts, and after Phil had changed, they had decided to walk down to the shwarma joint instead of taking the car. After hearing of how fast they could go, the boy had wanted to remain alive for a bit longer, thank you.

  
  


“Um, Captain America?” Phil tugged at Steve's sleeve and the blond turned to the boy.

  
  


“You can call me Steve, Phil.” He grinned encouragingly. The boy looked flustered and they stopped in front of a two way street, Steve placing a hand on his shoulder.

  
  


“What... what happened to you after you fell into the ocean?” the boy asked in one rushed breath as if he were scared of how Steve would react. The hero blinked in surprise, not expecting that to be his first question. Phil must've noticed his pensive look and had taken his silence as not wanting to talk.

 

“You don't have to answer. I was just- just curious.” His arms circled around himself and the blond felt a surge of protectiveness at Phil's defensive position and a little hurt that he felt the need to do it around him. Steve placed a hand on his back as they crossed the street.

  
  


“It's okay to ask me, Phil.” Steve said reassuringly. “They tell me I sunk to the bottom of the ocean and stayed frozen in ice for 70 years before they found me and thawed me out. I'm kind of like you. It took me a while to get used to all the new technology and stuff too.” Steve grinned and Phil returned the shy grin.

  
  


“Was it because of the serum they gave you? Is that how you're still alive?” Phil frowned as he thought. “Can you even die?”

 

Before Steve could reply, the sound of police sirens pierced the air in the background, and Phil suddenly paled, freezing on the spot. The captain immediately tensed, looking for the threat but he couldn't find one. Everyone was just bustling by, not even sparing them a glance.

  
  


“Phil, what's wrong?” Steve asked, turning around to face him.

  
  


“I have to hide.” Phil's eyes were wide and desperate and he ran into the store next to them. The blond followed him but lost him as he disappeared behind some racks. He found Phil in the corner of the store, knees drawn up to his chest. His head was tucked in between his knees and there was a woman who looked like she was about to approach him but he waved her off, kneeling in front of the boy who seemed to be having a panic attack.

  
  


“Phil.” Steve placed a hand on his shoulder but Phil flinched violently away, his teary eyes snapping up. His breaths were coming in short gasps and he wasn't really seeing Steve. There was such an overwhelming panic in his eyes and the captain cupped Phil's face in his hands. “Breathe, Phil. I need you to listen to my voice. You're safe. Listen to my voice. You need to take a deep breath.”

  
  


Phil seemed to be struggling against the grip with tears streaming down his face chanting 'I'm sorry' over and over again. Steve despaired a little before he tried a new tactic.

  
  


“Phil, it's Captain America. I need your help, but you need to focus on the sound of my voice and calm down.” Steve said, using the stage voice he had used in the old performances back in his time. This seemed to grasp the kid's attention and Steve grabbed on to it. “Phil, I need you to breathe so you can help me with something. Look at me.”

  
  


Phil drew in wheezy breaths, looking up at Steve, chest heaving. His eyes focused and he blinked wetly as his breathing regulated. There were still tears squeezing their way out of his eyes, and Steve, deciding that it was okay to touch him now, drew him into a tight hug, feeling relief course through him. The panic he had seen in Phil's eyes was too similar to the horror he had seen in the eyes of soldiers and Steve felt an anger towards whatever had caused Phil to have this reaction.

 

“Captain America?” Phil breathed as his hands circled around Steve as he hid his face in Steve's shoulder, crying.

  
  


“It's okay.” Steve murmured, rubbing circles into his back. Phil leaned all this weight on Steve as he cried into his shoulder. The two stayed like that until Phil pulled back, wiping his face, with a prominent blush on his face.

 

“Thanks.” Phil's eyes were trained on his feet. “I'm sorry about... that.”

  
  


“What happened? What triggered your panic attack?” Steve asked as he rose to his feet.

  
  


“My dad.” Phil muttered, wrapping his arms around himself. “He's in the police, and I don't know. I can usually control it but I just couldn't then.”

  
  


“Why are you scared of your father though?” Steve asked, frowning as scenes ran through his mind. The boy remained quiet. “Phil, did he hurt you?”

  
  


The brown haired boy's face turned blank and he turned away.

  
  


“No.” Steve tried to say something but Phil interrupted him. “I'm sorry about my... outburst. Can we go eat now?” He looked older than his age at that moment and Steve just wanted to take him in his arms and teach him that he didn't have to put his guard up with him. Steve nodded at Phil's question and they walked out of the store.

  
  


“Are you sure you're okay?” Steve asked and the boy nodded.

  
  


As they made their way to the store, neither talked. Steve wondered how he could have overlooked Coulson. How much did the man keep hidden? How much had he suffered? His heart did flips at the thought of the strong agent secretly hurting inside and it made him take a step closer towards Phil. Even if he couldn't stop what had happened to him, maybe he could make this time around, with whatever time they had, worthwhile.

  
  


Before either of then knew it, they were standing in front of the shwarma place and Steve laughed at the eagerness Phil had once the smell reached their noses. The diner was mostly empty since lunch hour had already passed but there was one person who immediately recognized Captain America and asked for a picture, the which Steve accepted. After the picture was taken, he led Phil to table and they ordered.

  
  


“Is it like that everywhere?” Phil asked, taking a sip from the shake he had ordered. Steve tilted his head in question.

  
  


“You know, pictures and all that?”

  
  


Steve shrugged.

  
  


“Not always, but there are some people do recognize me outside of my outfits.”

  
  


“I would. I spent so much time, looking at the comics and seeing the short films they put in the theaters every once in a while.” Phil smiled excitedly and some of the life that had disappeared from him came back, and it was then that Steve realized that the only moment that Phil seemed to truly be happy was when he was talking about Captain America.

 

“Which ones did you see?” Steve prompted and Phil's eyes lit up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this story had the most subscribers, so here's your next chapter. Hope it's okay. Also, please comment of what you want to see. Cuz I haven't the slightest idea of what to do. I TRIED!!! I wonder if this is what betas are for. ANYWAYS, thanks for reading.


	3. Superheroes Don't Drink

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many of you seem to think that I have given up on this story but I haven't. Not having internet kind of forces you to write a lot but not be able to publish it... it kind of gets disheartening when you get comments like 'Is this story abandoned??!?' and whatnot. But I don't mind. It's understandable.

 Phil's eyes shone as he animatedly talked about one of the films he had gone to see of a lost Captain America footage. Steve found himself a little surprised at how expressive Phil was, a stark contrast to the calm exterior his older counterpart always had. The boy talked about his first time seeing a Captain America poster hanging on the wall. He asked Steve of what it was like to go to war or what it was like to be a superhero and the blond tried to answer all of them.

  
  


At some point during their conversation, their food was set down in front of them, and Steve didn't miss the way Phil's eyes widened, or the way he tried to subtly put a piece of the food in his pocket. Steve didn't comment.

  
  


It almost hurt to see how enthusiastically Phil was eating the food, his eyes closing in pleasure. How bad were things that he made eating a normal sandwich seem like having a gourmet meal? Phil didn't seem to mind the silence hanging over them so Steve decided to go along with it.

  
  


After they'd finished eating, Phil's eyes had begun to droop slightly and a yawn escaped his lips, but he seemed determined to stay alert. They stood up from the table, Steve leaving a 15 dollar tip and they headed towards the door.

  
  


“So you're part of the Avengers now? Like in a superhero team, right?” Phil tilted his head up to look at Steve.

  
  


“Yeah.”

 

“Are you married to one of them?”

  
  


“W-What?” Steve almost squeaked, his eyes turning to meet the boy's amused ones.

  
  


“People are always getting married once they join a superhero group.” Phil explained then blushed. “Or at least they do in the comics.”

  
  


“I'll have to go with no.” Steve chuckled. “Although I think Tony might have a crush on Bruce.”

  
  


Phil frowned.

  
  


“I thought Tony was a boy?”

  
  


“He is.”

  
  


“Then is Bruce a girl?” Phil looked slightly horrified now.

  
  


“No, no, they're both boys.”

  
  


“So they're...queer?” Phil said the word like he was going to get in trouble for saying it. He looked around at the people walking around them.

  
  


Steve suddenly realized what he was thinking. He can't believe he hadn't thought about that. After being in the future for so long, he had become accustomed to the idea of homosexuality being a normal thing. And if Phil was from the 70's, it was no wonder that he said the word with such fear. The campaign for equality had barely begun around that time.

  
  


“Phil, things have changed between what you remember and now. It's okay for guys to like guys, and girls to like like girls. People are more open minded.” Steve said softly.

  
  


“But it says in the Bible that it's wrong.” The words came out like they had been forced down Phil's throat time after time. “My mom says it's unnatural for guys to like guys. That...that it's a sickness.”

  
  


“Well, your mom is wrong. It's actually a very normal thing for boys to like boys, but it's also fine to like girls or both.” Steve smiled reassuringly.

  
  


Phil blinked in surprise. Then he looked down at his feet and cleared his throat.

  
  


“What do you- I mean, are you- like um, -” Steve's lips quirked up in a smile as Phil's face turned redder.

  
  


“I don't think I care if they're a boy or a girl.”

  
  


Phil seemed stricken but recovered quickly and turned towards the door that was in front of them. They were at the Avengers tower and Phil jumped when JARVIS's voice came out of the speakers beside the door.

  
  


“Hello, Mr. Rogers.”

  
  


“Hey, JARVIS.” Steve smiled. The door slid smoothly open and let them in.

  
  


“Hello, Mr. Coulson.”

  
  


“Um, hi...JARVIS?” Phil scratched the back of his head, not knowing where to look. He looked around with a lost look. Steve laughs softly as he remembers his first time hearing JARVIS speak seemingly from nowhere. It had been disarming the first few times.

  
  


“Um, Mr. Steve?” Phil tugged on his sleeve drawing his attention back to the present.

  
  


“Yes, Phil?” Steve tilted his head towards the boy who was shifting from foot to foot. He led him to the elevator and clicked the button to his floor.

  
  


“Could I go to the restroom?” Phil asked.

  
  


“Yeah, sure. We're almost on my floor. It's going to be the second door on your right.”

  
  


“Thanks.” Phil smiled and Steve's heart melted at the sight of the unabashed grin. He gave him a tight side hug which made the boy tense for a second before wrapping his arm around Steve and returning the hug with a hesitant squeeze.

  
  


The elevator door opened and revealed the entrance of Steve's floor. The captain slid his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door, leading the boy inside.

  
  


“Hey, do you want to watch a movie?”

  
  


“Yes! I mean... if you don't mind.”

  
  


“Not at all. The bathroom is right there.” Steve pointed to the door and Phil gave him a grateful smile before running to the bathroom and swiftly locking the door. The captain chuckled and wandered into the living room and turning on the TV.

  
  


Then Steve wandered into the kitchen and looked around. Should he make popcorn? No, they had just eaten and it was too unhealthy with all the butter. He opened the refrigerator and took out some of the carrots he had hidden in the back. Yes, this was a much better option for a young boy like Phil. He put them in a bowl and then on a second thought grabbed two water bottles. If he was going to take care of Phil, he had to make sure he stayed healthy.

  
  


He went back into the living room and put the refreshments down and put his hand on his hips. It had been a long time since he's been able to take care of someone, and it felt amazing. Last time had been before the ice.

  
  


Steve was broken out of his reverie by JARVIS.

  
  


“Mr. Rogers, I thought you might like to know that Master Tony is on the elevator with your floor as the destination.”

  
  


“Alright. Thank you, JARVIS.”

  
  


“You're welcome, sir.”

  
  


On cue, the door opened and the cocky billionaire sauntered in with a six pack of beers in one hand. Steve immediately crossed his arms and lifted an eyebrow at Tony who rolled his eyes.

  
  


“Oh, don't give me that look, grandpa. We both know that you weren't all goodie two shoes back then. And anyway, I think this drink is well deserved.” Tony sniffed, smirking.

  
  


“Is that so?”

  
  


“Yep.” Tony grinned. “Banner and I think we've discovered the antidote for Mini Agent's situation. We just need to let it fully settle for the night and we can give it to him tomorrow. So I decided that this deserves a little celebration, wouldn't you think so?”

  
  


“I'm not letting Phil anywhere near the alcohol, and I'm certainly not going to go somewhere with you drunk. Especially not after last time.”

  
  


“Get off your high horse, Steve. We both know you liked it.” Tony winked, licking his lips dramatically.

  
  


“Yes, I just love you assaulting my lips while trying to drown me in your saliva with your tongue in my throat.” Steve deadpanned and Tony burst out laughing, which after a while made the blond start to laugh with him too.

  
  


“Well at least we know it wouldn't work out.” Tony chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. He turned to put the six pack down on the table in front of the couch, and his eyes suddenly zeroed in on the food Steve had set out. “Carrots and water, Steve?” He turned to the captain with gleeful eyes. “What are you- a soccer mom?”

  
  


“It's healthy.” the blond blushed and Tony snorted. Before the billionaire could say anything else, they heard someone clearing his throat from the hallway. Their heads turned to the young boy who gave them a small smile. Phil walked towards them and tilted his head up to Tony who raised an eyebrow.

  
  


“Hi, Mr. Tony.” Phil grinned timidly. Tony slid a glance over to Steve who looked so goddamn proud. The genius crouched down to his level and ruffled his hair.

  
  


“Come on. At least call me Uncle Tony or something. Mr. Tony sounds like the businessman I'm supposed to be.” Tony smiled, winking. He wrapped an arm around Phil and whispered conspiratorially, “Hey, Phil, what would you say to going to a party with me and the rest of the Avengers?”

  
  


“Wait, really?!” Phil's eyes widened in surprise. “But- but what about all the missions and stuff?”

 

“Well, we found the thing that will make you turn back into an adult and that's a pretty good reason to have a mini party.” Tony smiled. “They're all going to be there. Bruce, Natasha, Clint, and even some of our trusty side kicks.” Steve rubbed the bridge of his nose, recognizing the underhanded tactics he was using to bait Phil. Tony knew that the boy would do anything to be in the presence of superheroes.

 

“That sounds awesome. Can I really go?” Phil leaned forward excitedly, his brown eyes sparkling.

  
  


“You bet, Mini Agent.” Tony looked up at Steve. “As long as it's alright with the captain.”

  
  


Phil immediately turned to the blond who glared at Tony for a second before softening his look as he turned to the boy.

  
  


“Please, Steve, can I go?” Phil looked at him with pleading hopeful eyes and Steve knew he had been beaten the second he said his name without a 'Mr.' and when those eyes looked at him like that.

  
  


“Fine, but I'll go with you to make sure you don't get into any trouble.”

  
  


Phil's smiled widened and he turned to Tony excitedly.

  
  


“Are there any superheroes that I'll know?”

  
  


“Perhaps.” Tony shrugged.

  
  


“I can't believe I'm going to a superhero party.”

  
  


“Pretty cool, huh?” the genius laughed. “Well, I'll see you in an hour or so. It'll be on the main deck. Don't be late.” He turned around and grabbed the six pack which left an outline of moisture on the table. Steve didn't miss the way Phil froze next to him at the sight of the beer in Tony's hand. “See you later, Mini Agent and Cap.”

  
  


Tony left and Steve locked the door behind him with a sigh of relief only to find Phil frowning in deep thought.

  
  


“Hey, Phil, you okay?” Steve placed a hand on his shoulder and the boy flinched from the touch, his eyes meeting Steve's frightened. Those eyes were haunted and Steve recognized the tortured look from the store earlier. What kind of childhood did he have?

 

“You don't drink that, do you?” Phil's hands gripped his arms and Steve's eyebrows rose in alarm. There was a desperation in his eyes like if the idea of his idol drinking would tear his world apart.

  
  


“Not really, no.” the captain shook his head and the boy seemed to relax. “Why, Phil?”

  
  


Phil seemed to realize what he looked like and he let go of the hero's arms with a wince before shuffling back, but Steve wouldn't allow it. He moved forward with him and cupped the Phil's face, tilting it up so that their eyes met. Shy brown ones meeting concerned blue ones.

  
  


“My mom....” Phil whispered, breaking the eye connection. “She used to drink all the time and... she wasn't nice when she got drunk. I don't like... people drinking. It just brings up bad memories.” The admission was said guiltily like if it was his fault that his mother had a drinking problem.

  
  


“Phil, you know that it's not your fault right?”

  
  


“Yeah.” Phil lied, looking back at the ground. Steve couldn't help the quick hug he gave him, and when he backed off, Phil looked both blissed and uncomfortable- the product of what many years without affection did to the boy. Steve swore in that moment that even if Phil was going to get changed back tomorrow, he would be there for the agent.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> None of you hate me as much as I hate myself. I can't believe it took me this long. Please don't comment on this crappy chapter. I promise the next one will be much better. (Hopefully) ((Cries inside...and outside))


	4. Room Full of Superheroes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil runs away

Phil felt like he had entered into a different dimension, but in a way, he kind of had. All of the Avengers were in the lounge, sprawled on the couches, talking among each other. Steve was busy talking to the lady that had helped them find clothes earlier. Mrs. Pepper or something.

Everyone else kept shooting glances at him like if they wanted to talk to him but the second he met their eyes they looked at something else, and it made him feel uncomfortable, like if he was in school again. Everyone used to stare at him with knowing eyes, pitying him because of where he came from and who is parents were. It made him feel so...alone. His hand wandered to his sleeve.

“So, kid... this must be boring to you.”

Phil was snapped out of his reverie when a muscular arm wrapped around his shoulders, and he turned to the voice beside him. It was Hawkeye or rather Clint since that was what he was told to call him. He was the guy who he had thought was a dark Robin when he first woke up. He seemed like a nice guy, but he also seemed really sad whenever he was around Phil.

“It's not that bad.” Phil lied as he clutched his drink.

“Liar.”

Phil turned to Black Widow (or Natasha, but calling a superhero by their name was weird) who plopped down next to him with a raised eyebrow.

“I don't know what to do in a room of superheroes.” Phil admitted, smiling awkwardly. He turned his cup in his hands.

“Just be you.” She smiled. “We're not superheroes 24/7, you know. Like, for example, when I'm not on the field or fighting bad guys, I go down to this ballet studio a few blocks away and dance with the city group.”

“You're a ballerina?” Phil's voice was full of disbelief.

“It was originally one of my aliases but then it turned out I actually liked doing it.” She smiled.

“That's pretty cool.”

“Same thing with me.” Hawkeye said. “I don't just like fighting bad guys even though most of the time that's what I do. Sometimes I like to do this thing called LARPing. It's this event where a lot of people get together and pretend they're like in the Dark Ages and things like that. I like to go to zombie apocalypse ones.”

“That sounds amazing!” Phil exclaimed. “They never had anything like that back home.”

“Well, I'll see if I can get your older self to join me for one someday.” Hawkeye chuckled.

“And maybe I could go watch you practice some day?” Phil turned to Black Widow with hopeful eyes and she grinned, nodding.

“What are you boring people talking about over here?” Tony smirked as he came over to where Phil was with a beer in one hand. Phil's heart began racing and he edged backwards into the seat. Tony seemed to notice and he put down the drink on the table behind him and pulled up a chair to Phil who relaxed minutely at the disappearance of the drink.

“We were just telling him about how we spend our time when we're not fighting villains.” Black Widow said.

“Well, then, I guess it's my turn, huh?” Tony smiled. “I work in my lab to invent new things for mankind.”

“Oh, have you built a teleporter?” Phil asked curiously.

“No-”

“What about a phaser?”

“No-”

“But surely you must have at least built comms then or big spaceships like the Enterprise?” Phil looked at him expectantly.

“Someone's a huge Star Trek fan.” Tony said tiredly as Natasha and Clint laughed into their hands. “I make things like the Ironman suit you saw me in earlier.” 

 

“Oh,” Phil said, “That’s cool, I guess.” Tony looked let down by the lack of enthusiasm on Phil’s part but then his eyes lit up. 

 

“You know, it was actually my dad that made Captain America his shield.” Tony said, and that seemed to do the trick because  Phil was looking at him with wide eyes and mouth open.

 

“No way!” Phil said. “Really?”

 

“Really really.”

 

“Yeah, my dad used to tell me all about Cap when I was growing up. I used to be a huge fan. Actually I think I still have some of my old stuff. Maybe I could show it to you sometime.” Tony wiggled his eyebrows at the kid who nodded enthusiastically. There was a sudden cheer on the bottom floor and everyone turned to look at what was happening. Steve Rogers had his head thrown back in laughter as he saw that Falcon had gotten stuck on one of Spiderman’s webs. 

 

Phil’s heart froze at the sight of Captain America laughing so freely. The comics had always shown him to be a serious and brave soldier who only cared about saving the country, so to see this carefree yet caring version melted something in Phil. The small crush that had been slowly harvested since his first comic suddenly grew and he could feel the amount of affection he had for him swell. But the next thing he saw made it all fall to pieces. 

 

A girl who had been in the crowd with the others walked towards Steve and sat down next to him. The hero’s eyes lit up and when Phil moved to see her face, he felt a painful jolt run down his body. Because he hadn’t known that Peggy Carter had also managed to stay young, but he knew that Captain America and she were in love,

 

Phil turned on his heel and ran out of the room while everyone was distracted by the commotion. He didn’t belong here. 

 

Afraid that the weird invisble person would try to stop him if he took the elevator, Phil ran down flight after flight of stairs until he was in some dark alleyway that stank of trash and other nasty smells. For a second, Phil considered going back in, but he pushed away the thought and began to head towards the entrance of the alley.

 

Three steps in, he was suddenly heaved up and into a bag, screaming, but before the bag closed, Phil caught sight of a man with a bunch of black paint smeared around bright blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I don't know what to say. Sorry?

**Author's Note:**

> SO, if you like this story, subscribe or leave a comment below and I'll see you next time! :)


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